170908 – Russia, Trans-Siberia Railway – Irkustk

DAY FIVE

The morning was about the lowest point for the journey.

Rising early to Anne's gentle “time to get up” followed shortly by Old Cow banging on the door and screaming. The younger provonista came by and indicated with little patience that she would require our sheets and towels. Fair enough.

Here is when the dramas began.

One by one, we approached the provonista's little compartment and handed over two sheets, a small towel and the pillow-case cover. She curtly counted them and shooed us away. Andy had misplaced his towel and hence had to pay 150 Rubels, fair enough.

WRONG

The younger of the two had stuffed the rubels into her purse. Shortly, the ancient and decrepit tart who was in good need of an enema stuffed up a flaccid orifice, had decided that we would be an easy scam and proceed to try and extort us for the next hours.

Beginning by screaming at us that we had lost or stolen a towel, two sheets and two pillowcases, she demanded payment. This was followed by confusion on our part, we'd handed them in as individuals to begin with. Anne promptly went into battle. At first arguing and then demanding that the old cow recount them, she was unsatisfied. Pulling each sheet out in turn, inspecting it and throwing it in the face of this incontinent wretch of a woman, Anne successfully found two of the pillow cases and one of the sheets. Arcing up, our first example of some secret Soviet radioactive inbreeding program simply descending into screaming at Anne in Russian, demanding money.

Here, Anne demonstrated the art and tact of the Thai. Starting calmly and working her way up into a fury, she took the various opportunities to switch into speaking Common Thai at an impressive volume for her small stature. Remaining civil at every step, she pointed out that if the woman wouldn't bother to make herself understood, we would reciprocate.

Respective parties stalking off, the old crone continued to display that she demanded a bribe. Adam, tired of the vocal contest gave her 100 Rubels (about $5AUD) to just make her shut up and leave us alone. Two of the girls had observed the younger of the provonistas leaving with a “very uncomfortable look on her face” as soon as the old %@*^& had started on her crusade for cash.

This had been a scam, simple as that.

When the train came to a halt at our designated station, we passed the obnoxious wench. Each of us offering either our best weed-killer glare or the dark indifference that clearly says “If I cared enough for you to exist, you great scaly beast, I hope you set yourself on fire”. Most of our group had taken the liberty to jam all of the windows open. Featuring locks that used compression between the frame and the window, they would be a real pain to shut. None of us had the chance to block the toilet, though several of the boys had been contemplating it for the last two days.

Trying to extort Aussies, Brits and Kiwi's is never a good idea. It had been particularly wise of her to hide her corruption until the last possible moment. At least in Jordan, that guy had realised that he was outclassed in the attempt to scam some extra cash. This old cow was simply unscrupulous and had even disgusted her little protege.

All said, we had to pay about 400 Rubels. This was significantly less than the old crone had been demanding, and was paid in a handful of instalments. Making her work for it. Finally, we were off of the train.

Making it out the front of the train station, it was 5ish in the morning Moscow time and about 1030AM local time. Anne tracked down our local guide, Eugene. He was a local of asian heritage who would be joining us, with intermissions, across the next few days. Loading us into mini-buses, we were escorted to our housing.

Irkustk is the largest city in region, labelled “the Paris of Siberia”. Making our way from the train station, over the river and along the city thoroughfares, we were all a little too exhausted to pay much attention to the passing scenery until later in the day. The streets and buildings of the city spoke of an older time, the peeling paint combining with the cold to mask the quiet grandeur of the place. Making our way onto the side-streets, the ornate wood carvings adorning the eves and broader walls could be forgiven for fading and cracking. These homes had lived through periods of great change, this ageing was inevitable. There was a fair amount of new construction taking place in the city, I particularly noticed that a lot of the pavement was be replaced or repaired.

Our homestay was in an apartment that had been vacated for our visit. Enjoying a GLORIOUS series of showers and preparing snacks, we chilled out for a couple of hours. Once the other groups had joined us from their accommodation, we embarked on the orientation tour.

Wandering down the main strip and past the park, our local guide pointed out the post-office, super-market and shopping district. To be honest the local guide did a somewhat average job at the tour, we ended out relying on our little maps most of the time. Lunch was in a very little cafe in the basement of a near-by hotel. Chosen by our local guide for reasons beyond our understanding, they had run out on rice, chicken and most other staples. Luck alone guided me to ordering a bowel of soup, most of the guys opting for a pork chop that was delivered undersized, cold and covered in fried egg. My soup cost about $3.50AUD, those who ordered the pork went pale on being charged in excess of $15. At some point during the meal, Anne had left to “converse” with Eugene. He did not return and no-one was impressed.

Wandering through the city, Internet was sourced and utilised along with a supermarket. Snacks were procured and a couple of people sought out souvenirs or other services. Later in the day, we met as a group a little before sunset for a walk along the river/lake. Walking through the fading light, we passed an excessive number of young people spending sunset by the water. Teenagers and young families mingled and socialised on the wall overlooking the river or throughout the narrow park that separated city from water. Turning at a great statue, we passed several university buildings on the way to dinner. In stark contrast to my expectations of a Siberian city, this was a thriving town with a great many young people embracing their opportunities. Dinner was at a traditional Russian tea-house, decorated with red fabric wall-paper and antique items speaking of Russian history.

The tea-house was superb. The food was exceptional and reasonably priced, along with the drinks and later desert. Opting for a beef and vegetable hotpot, it was only a modest portion but certainly sufficient. Serving the table was a very pretty russian girl wearing our first example of a traditional dress. Done up like a Russian Doll, she was absolutely exquisite and charming. Almost the entire group was smitten with her. Originally planning to save a few dollars on desert, one person ordered an icecream dish with a hot-chocolate base. A small avalanche of “one more, please” promptly followed, filling the rest of the table.

Dinner done, the group once again visited the supermarket to ensure a suitable level of snackage. Keeping eyes out for something resembling a nightlife, we found ourselves back at our respective accommodation in desperate need of entertainment. Tonight was simply the wrong night for going out.

The evening finished with us four boys watching American Psycho on Adam's laptop and drinking Russian beer. It had been a good day and we were appreciating a couple of days without trains.